Christians are straight up FREAKS
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
