I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
