Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
