he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
