The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
