Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
