If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
