So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
