i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he shaved USA in his pubs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
