everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
