My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
