Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
