HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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