Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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