I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
