He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
