allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
