Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
