They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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