So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
