You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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