It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
