yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
