This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
