making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
