she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
