Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
