i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
