I'm pants shitting drunk right now
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
