it hurts more in the daytime
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Drunk is not a location!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
