So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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