Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
