this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
