Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
