Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
