Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
