I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
