uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
