kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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