My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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