my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
