Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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