Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
so let's talk penis.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
