i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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