This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
