I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
