I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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