Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
