Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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