apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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