two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
