my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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